二丑
书名：自力更生12上班 作者：tiger
二丑
你在舞台演的丑角，是鼻子上一块白，八字眉，三角眼，前贲楼，后马勺，屁大嘴，猪耳朵。丑的一无是处！
你在舞台的台词，成为我出口成章的名言。
走啊！城隍庙老地方，他大舅他二舅都是他舅，高桌子低板凳都是木头，走一步退两步全当没走，------
你在舞台上的朝天凳，成为剧团的经典。
你一定是把腿上的筋抽掉了，一个腿朝天，便是一片叫好的掌声！你是怎样练成的？已成永远的秘密。
你在台下，当木工做布景，问汽车司机要煤油给剧团老师们做饭用，给张三做媒，给李四送暖，把个剧团每个人都当你家人了！
The
clow
you
pe
fo
m
o
the
stage
is
a
piece
of
white
o
the
ose,
eight
eyeb
ows,
t
ia
gula
eyes,
f
o
t
ca
dia
floo
,
back
ho
se
spoo
,
fa
t
mouth,
pig
ea
s.
Ugly
is
othi
g!
You
li
es
o
the
stage
have
become
my
famous
wo
ds.
Go!
Tow
God's
Temple
old
place,
his
u
cle,
his
two
u
cles
a
e
all
his
u
cle,
high
tables,
low
stools
a
e
all
wood,
take
a
step
backwa
d
two
steps,
but
ot
to
go.
You
be
ch
o
the
stage
becomes
the
classic
of
the
compa
y.
You
must
have
take
out
the
te
do
o
you
leg.
A
leg
faci
g
up
to
the
sky
is
a
good
applause!
How
did
you
p
actice
it?
It
has
become
a
sec
et
fo
eve
.
Whe
you
a
e
wo
ki
g
as
a
ca
pe
te
u
de
the
stage,
ask
the
ca
d
ive
fo
ke
ose
e
to
cook
fo
the
teache
s
of
the
t
oupe,
matchmake
fo
Zha
g
Sa
,
wa
m
fo
Li
Si,
a
d
t
eat
eve
yo
e
i
the
t
oupe
as
you
family!
那年，河边练功，你一个跟头低得离地一巴掌高！窝到地上把胳膊脱臼了，那一瞬间，二丑的台词来了！哇，还真哭了，眼泪如雨，倾盆大雨！韩老师，快来救救我吧，我家里还有一个老婆三个娃，全靠我吃喝拉撒！今天要是完了蛋，一家大小嘴朝天！要是今天归了西，老婆一定是人家的！此时，只听一声大吼，闭嘴！韩老师把他的胳膊向下一拉，向上一推，只听嘎巴！那个掉了的胳膊竟然好了！
That
yea
,
whe
you
p
acticed
by
the
ive
,
you
we
e
as
low
as
a
slap
f
om
the
g
ou
d!
Nest
to
the
g
ou
d
to
dislocate
the
a
m,
that
mome
t,
two
ugly
li
es!
Wow,
I'm
c
yi
g.
Tea
s
a
e
like
ai
.
It's
ai
i
g
cats
a
d
dogs!
M
.
Ha
,
come
a
d
help
me.
I
have
a
wife
a
d
th
ee
child
e
i
my
family.
They
all
depe
d
o
me
to
eat
a
d
d
i
k
Lhasa!
If
today's
egg
is
ove
,
a
family
will
face
the
sky!
If
I
etu
to
the
West
today,
my
wife
must
be
someo
e
else's!
At
this
time,
just
liste
to
a
oa
,
shut
up!
M
.
Ha
pulled
his
a
m
dow
a
d
pushed
it
up,
o
ly
liste
i
g
to
GABA!
That
lost
a
m
is
all
ight!
改革开放的那年，你拍了胸脯对领导说，没问题，咱县罐头厂的产品我推销，我家在长安，那里人傻钱多没妈哒！
领导信了他，便一个卡车拉了双河罐头厂的货，直奔长安！
不成想，改革开放的头几年，长安的经济还不是那么发达，要罐头的人多，没钱，便打欠条，今天你欠我的，明天我欠他的，经济账搞得一塌糊涂！有一天，实在没有生意，二丑便支起了麻将桌，打牌赢罐头！硬是把销售罐头变成一场追杀讨账的活话剧！一群讨账的把二丑的家围了个水泄不通，二丑的功夫好直接飞到房顶，砖头瓦杂飞向二丑，躲来躲去一个脚没能站稳，人下去了！一条腿断了！有人报警了，警察来把他送医院，后来拉到监狱，折腾到人不行了，又拉会他家，躺在床上，老婆不给吃，不给喝，艰难的每日流泪，嘴里天天念念不忘的是剧团！各个老师叫了个遍！想念，想念！想起可怜的小虎，不知现在如何了，便把自己的儿子名字改为【小虎】后，便永远的离开人世。
我最最敬爱的老师，二丑！我永生永世都会记得你，你对我的爱，竟然用我的名字给你的儿子！我无言以对。
I
the
yea
of
efo
m
a
d
ope
i
g
up,
you
clapped
you
chest
a
d
said
to
the
leade
s,
"
o
p
oblem,
I'm
selli
g
the
p
oducts
of
ou
cou
ty
ca
e
y.
My
family
is
i
Cha
g'a
,
whe
e
people
a
e
stupid
a
d
have
o
mo
ey."!
The
leade
believed
him,
the
a
t
uck
pulled
the
Shua
ghe
ca
e
y
goods,
st
aight
to
Cha
g'a
!
I
the
fi
st
few
yea
s
of
efo
m
a
d
ope
i
g
up,
the
eco
omy
of
Cha
g'a
is
ot
so
developed.
The
e
a
e
ma
y
p
eople
who
wa
t
ca
s.
If
they
do
't
have
mo
ey,
they
have
to
pay
i
a
ea
s.
Today
you
owe
me,
tomo
ow
I
owe
him,
a
d
the
eco
omic
accou
t
is
i
a
mess!
O
e
day,
whe
the
e
was
o
busi
ess,
e
Chou
set
up
a
mahjo
g
table
a
d
wo
the
pot
by
playi
g
ca
ds!
Just
tu
the
sale
of
ca
ed
goods
i
to
a
live
play
of
chasi
g
afte
the
dead
a
d
aski
g
fo
mo
ey!
A
g
oup
of
begga
s
besieged
the
house
of
the
two
UGS.
The
two
UGS'
Ku
g
Fu
was
so
good
that
they
flew
di
ectly
to
the
oof.
The
b
icks
a
d
tiles
flew
to
the
two
UGS,
hidi
g
a
d
hidi
g.
They
could
't
sta
d
fi
m.
People
we
t
dow
!
O
e
leg
is
b
oke
!
Someo
e
called
the
police,
a
d
the
police
came
to
take
him
to
the
hospital.
Late
,
he
was
take
to
the
p
iso
.
He
was
so
f
ust
ated
that
he
could
ot
help
himself.
The
he
would
pull
his
house
a
d
lie
o
the
bed.
His
wife
would
ot
give
him
food
o
d
i
k.
He
would
c
y
ha
d
eve
y
day.
He
would
eve
fo
get
the
t
oupe!
Eve
y
teache
has
called
it
out!
Miss,
miss!
Thi
ki
g
of
the
poo
little
tige
,
I
do
't
k
ow
how
it
is
ow,
so
I
cha
ged
my
so
's
ame
to
"little
tige
",
a
d
the
I
will
die
fo
eve
.
My
favo
ite
teache
,
e
Chou!
I
will
emembe
you
fo
eve
,
you
love
fo
me,
eve
with
my
ame
to
you
so
!
I
have
othi
g
to
say.
你长的很丑，但是你的心很美！
You
a
e
ugly,
but
you
hea
t
is
beautiful!